Making it harder than already is

I am but a wretched fool. I knew it would happen sooner or later, I wanted it to happen and yet I was afraid it would; still, I went with my heart instead of my head. Would it be a mistake or would it be the best thing, I am not sure if I have the courage to find out. Too much is at stake already, or at least for me.

I have gotten used to it, your morning calls and messages, so much so till I wouldn’t open my eyes until I hear from you. What is it exactly do you have over me?

We talk, we laugh, and we have lots of fun. The truth of the matter is, the better we get, the more I fear. Fear that as time passes, the real me isn’t good enough for you. That’s what happened so many times in the past, and I am so tired of failing to meet expectations time and again.

Expectations – the dirtiest word in the English language. Everything is beautiful till expectations ruin it. So, what now? Are you waiting for me to initiate or shall we linger in this gray area for a little while more so that you know what you are getting yourself into?
If it is any consolation, I did try to warn you about me, so hopefully, you know what to expect (ah… the dirty word yet again). It takes a lot of effort for me to come out of my shell, I wonder if I still have it in me? If I don’t, would you care to give me an extra hand?
I don’t have the answers, far from it. Hell, I think I may even have more questions than you.