26

Its official

*drumroll*

As of today, I am officially 26. I have passed the quarter of a century mark, which signifies that everything for me will start to go *gulp* downhill...

Any intake of alcohol will result in severe water retention, which leads to me being unable to fit my pants.

Any sleep deprivation will result in panda eyes, uncontrollable yawning (for 2 days), and a serious case of mood swings.

My joints will creak, crack, and hurt whenever I try to move after remaining stagnant in the same position for more than 42 minutes and 40 seconds (don't ask...).

I'm balding... damn!

Any unscheduled form of physical activity will result in muscle ache for the next 4 days.
As of now, I am still unable to feel my arms after being challenged to perform more than 200+ push ups with alcohol intake intervals (on Saturday).

I can no longer leer at girls under 20 without feeling like a dirty old man.

Trying to act cute is no longer possible without causing nauseating spasms in myself and the people around me.

I have to come to terms with the fact that I may have to settle down and get married in a no-longer-so-distant future... *gulp*gulp*

I better start exercising (more) lest I start to develop horizontally and be one of the guys with beer belly... *bleah*

Kids walk up to me and call me... UNCLE... argh...

Come Chinese New Year, I have to duck from my cousins who are married, have kids, and are at least 3 years younger than me... oh boy...

I no longer have a witty comeback line when I'm teased for being old... oh my god!!! (I'm old and I've lost my sense of humour and wit... can it get any worse??? Yeah it can, I can get another year older... sigh)

I'm still living with my parents... although its very common for the average Singaporean man, it also means that I am average... worse,... I've not reached the level of financial independence to really stand on my own 2 feet.

Damn... its starting not to feel so good to be 26 after all...

Wait till 27 comes, maybe I'll wish I am 26... hahaha!