Inheritance
I have come to realise that inheritances may not be a good thing after all... or at least not for me. People inherit money, intellectual property, rights, businesses, stocks, bonds, trust funds, houses, cars, collectibles, pets, vineyards, slaves, countries, and etc.
What do I inherit?
A Sales Team. A Sales Team that no manager would be proud to manage, no boss would hire, no trainer would teach. I have just inherited a team of 9 sales people.... so let me count the ways I am sad...
The first one is an auntie. An AUNTIE mind you; make that Queen of all Aunties... hmm... I think she wrote the book on how to be an auntie! All that comes out of her mouth is complaints... complaints, complaints, and more complaints... and she picks food of everyone else's plate. Its no wonder that no man is courageous to woo her.
The second one is another auntie. Though not as shocking on the Richter scale as the first one, this one is still a true blue auntie. She is the wing(wo)man for the RA (Resident Auntie)... a woman who gossips on the phone all the time instead of making cold calls, a woman who goes shopping (when there sales in departmental stores) instead of going for appointments and resents the fact that all her other colleagues are faring better than her in their sales performance... need I say more??
The third one is so irritating with her screechy voice that I'm on the verge of piercing my ear drums just so that I need not hear her voice...
The fourth throws in a few dialect words during conversations with customers, and that is not during small talk... it is during the midst of her sales pitch... so much for professionalism...
The fifth looks, walks, talks like an Ah Beng (for the benefit of you who are not familiar with this Singaporean slang... it is our way of adressing ruffians) ... alright, he is an ah beng...
The sixth is Wednesday... (think Adams family's young daughter, Wednesday, with all of her dark and weird dressing plus exceptionally loud and tacky behaviour and none of her spunky character)
The seventh is the Office Slacker cum Horn dog.. who does almost no work at all and thinks of nothing else except the next panties he can get into... (and yes, he is in Wednesday's... um... bleah...)
The eighth looks like a wrestler and is rough around all the edges, lucky for her is that she is still a person whom you can have a decent conversation with...
The ninth is somewhat the only person who is still decent and normal and credible as a professional salesperson...
I wonder if I can find at least five young, normal, decent-looking ladies who are able to speak and write well (when all my predecessors are unable to) when I reach my tolerance limit and fire their sorry asses...
Maybe the Sales Manager before me is actually a spy from our rival company with one single intention... to cause a ruckus in our organisational structure...
Can someone please recommend some decent women in the sales profession to me?
Is sunny Singapore running out of women of such calibre?
Maybe I should pull up a chair at a busy junction and just shortlist some (unsuspecting) candidates walking by...
What do I inherit?
A Sales Team. A Sales Team that no manager would be proud to manage, no boss would hire, no trainer would teach. I have just inherited a team of 9 sales people.... so let me count the ways I am sad...
The first one is an auntie. An AUNTIE mind you; make that Queen of all Aunties... hmm... I think she wrote the book on how to be an auntie! All that comes out of her mouth is complaints... complaints, complaints, and more complaints... and she picks food of everyone else's plate. Its no wonder that no man is courageous to woo her.
The second one is another auntie. Though not as shocking on the Richter scale as the first one, this one is still a true blue auntie. She is the wing(wo)man for the RA (Resident Auntie)... a woman who gossips on the phone all the time instead of making cold calls, a woman who goes shopping (when there sales in departmental stores) instead of going for appointments and resents the fact that all her other colleagues are faring better than her in their sales performance... need I say more??
The third one is so irritating with her screechy voice that I'm on the verge of piercing my ear drums just so that I need not hear her voice...
The fourth throws in a few dialect words during conversations with customers, and that is not during small talk... it is during the midst of her sales pitch... so much for professionalism...
The fifth looks, walks, talks like an Ah Beng (for the benefit of you who are not familiar with this Singaporean slang... it is our way of adressing ruffians) ... alright, he is an ah beng...
The sixth is Wednesday... (think Adams family's young daughter, Wednesday, with all of her dark and weird dressing plus exceptionally loud and tacky behaviour and none of her spunky character)
The seventh is the Office Slacker cum Horn dog.. who does almost no work at all and thinks of nothing else except the next panties he can get into... (and yes, he is in Wednesday's... um... bleah...)
The eighth looks like a wrestler and is rough around all the edges, lucky for her is that she is still a person whom you can have a decent conversation with...
The ninth is somewhat the only person who is still decent and normal and credible as a professional salesperson...
I wonder if I can find at least five young, normal, decent-looking ladies who are able to speak and write well (when all my predecessors are unable to) when I reach my tolerance limit and fire their sorry asses...
Maybe the Sales Manager before me is actually a spy from our rival company with one single intention... to cause a ruckus in our organisational structure...
Can someone please recommend some decent women in the sales profession to me?
Is sunny Singapore running out of women of such calibre?
Maybe I should pull up a chair at a busy junction and just shortlist some (unsuspecting) candidates walking by...
posted by homme_dec at 2:49 PM
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