And then there were Four (part 2)

I really should remember to Publish Post after making some final editing when I save as draft... so for all who are reading this...
I just made four posts this morning, 2 "long strokes" written some time ago which I never gotten around to posting it, and 2 "short strokes" which I just wrote at my whims and fancy this morning... and the reason I use the word "strokes" is in reference to the keyboard (but if you still don't get it after I sorta explained, then never mind)

2 long strokes and 2 short strokes... hmm...
that is actually a good rhythm for guys to adopt when having a romp between the sheets... well, at least it always works me... um... make that... it has always worked for them *grin*

And then there were Four

I seem to have gotten a loyal fanbase of four who constantly come back here to read what is going on in my crazy world...
Yippeee? hahaha...

Inheritance

I have come to realise that inheritances may not be a good thing after all... or at least not for me. People inherit money, intellectual property, rights, businesses, stocks, bonds, trust funds, houses, cars, collectibles, pets, vineyards, slaves, countries, and etc.

What do I inherit?

A Sales Team. A Sales Team that no manager would be proud to manage, no boss would hire, no trainer would teach. I have just inherited a team of 9 sales people.... so let me count the ways I am sad...

The first one is an auntie. An AUNTIE mind you; make that Queen of all Aunties... hmm... I think she wrote the book on how to be an auntie! All that comes out of her mouth is complaints... complaints, complaints, and more complaints... and she picks food of everyone else's plate. Its no wonder that no man is courageous to woo her.

The second one is another auntie. Though not as shocking on the Richter scale as the first one, this one is still a true blue auntie. She is the wing(wo)man for the RA (Resident Auntie)... a woman who gossips on the phone all the time instead of making cold calls, a woman who goes shopping (when there sales in departmental stores) instead of going for appointments and resents the fact that all her other colleagues are faring better than her in their sales performance... need I say more??

The third one is so irritating with her screechy voice that I'm on the verge of piercing my ear drums just so that I need not hear her voice...

The fourth throws in a few dialect words during conversations with customers, and that is not during small talk... it is during the midst of her sales pitch... so much for professionalism...

The fifth looks, walks, talks like an Ah Beng (for the benefit of you who are not familiar with this Singaporean slang... it is our way of adressing ruffians) ... alright, he is an ah beng...

The sixth is Wednesday... (think Adams family's young daughter, Wednesday, with all of her dark and weird dressing plus exceptionally loud and tacky behaviour and none of her spunky character)

The seventh is the Office Slacker cum Horn dog.. who does almost no work at all and thinks of nothing else except the next panties he can get into... (and yes, he is in Wednesday's... um... bleah...)

The eighth looks like a wrestler and is rough around all the edges, lucky for her is that she is still a person whom you can have a decent conversation with...

The ninth is somewhat the only person who is still decent and normal and credible as a professional salesperson...

I wonder if I can find at least five young, normal, decent-looking ladies who are able to speak and write well (when all my predecessors are unable to) when I reach my tolerance limit and fire their sorry asses...

Maybe the Sales Manager before me is actually a spy from our rival company with one single intention... to cause a ruckus in our organisational structure...

Can someone please recommend some decent women in the sales profession to me?
Is sunny Singapore running out of women of such calibre?

Maybe I should pull up a chair at a busy junction and just shortlist some (unsuspecting) candidates walking by...

I work in an asylum

I really believe that we are the only company that:

hire retirees as consultants...
hire aunties as salespeople...
hire people whom you can't tell their gender...
(at least we can proudly say that we are an equal opportunity employer... haha!)

are still using PCs that takes 5mins to open an attachment...
remove water dispensers from the office in an effort to save costs (leaving me thirsty ever since, and there is only so much I can salivate you know)...
use one puny measly water boiler to cater to over thirty people in one office (which results in one poor soul aka ME having to carry buckets of water from the toilet to the office over and over again the entire day to feed all the parched throats... so I paid $20K for grad school to be a waterboy... fantabulous!)
hardly provides any stationery... leaving us with no other option other than to beg, borrow, and steal... we beg the company secretary to give us new stationery (which we usually fail trying), we borrow from unsuspecting colleagues (not knowing that we hardly have any intention to return), and we steal from colleagues who are away for vacation (three words for the people who return to a stationery depeleted desk... Lock and Key)
and Senior Managers have to cough up money to supplement the company's fund for the annual dinner and dance...

this being a company whose turnover is millions a year...

what more can I say?? argh...

Shall I move?

Murphy's Law:
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong...
If there are two things that can go wrong, the one with worse consequences will happen...
The likelihood of being found out when you are trying to hide its existence is 100%...

Having said all that... maybe I should consider moving my blog to another place...

the thought of being found out and my identity exposed is really scary...
and the likelihood of that happening seems so possible now...

The trouble with many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity.

It seems we have a tendency to over complicate our lives and forget what's important and what's not.

We tend to mistake movement for achievement.

We tend to focus on activities instead of results.

As the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we tend to forget that we have the power to control our lives regardless of what's going on outside.